I love being a pastor.
But, having been around a lot of pastors at our various confabs across the world, I’ve noticed something unhealthy. Some of my brethren are afraid to ask their people tough questions.
Actually, let me include myself in that. Sometimes I am afraid to ask my people tough questions.
But, ask we must.
Why? Because Jesus has called us to tend his flock and to add to it. Our lives are, according to David Hansen’s book The Art of Pastoring, to be lived out as parables of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If we’re going to do that well, then we’ll need to know the answers to some tough-to-ask questions.
Now, this question has brought up some hard conversations. Hard for some to say, and hard for me to hear. But Jesus didn’t call us to skip the hard stuff. He called us to preach the whole counsel of God. Knowing what angers and hurts our people is critical to gospel application.
Also, this question helps the people in your pews, who aren’t just like you, know that you love them, and that you care to understand their experiences. I really do care, but I can’t actively pastor the people I care for, if I don’t ask this one.
This is a dangerous question, because everyone has opinions on what we pastors do. And, just like I don’t know what it’s like to be a banker, mother, teacher, etc., no one but me knows what it’s like to pastor my people. So before you ask, you have to decide you won’t be defensive. This question helps your people understand that you love them, and that you want your best for them. Also, as a leadership tip, this question prevents blow-ups. I can say that up to this point, we haven’t had any major explosions in our church, but we’ve had a few near misses! Asking this question helped sniff them out before the bomb went off. And hey, Pastor, you just don’t know everything you should be doing. Practice some of that Christian community you’re always talking about and let someone speak some truth to you.
Ask these tough questions. They’ll make you better and help you love your people more like Christ.